Making Time for yourself consistently

When we forgo the things that we like for too long, and pressure or stress mount up at work or in relationships, it is much easier to overreact, or to feel like our life is somehow being taken away from us by all these other activities. All we need sometimes to feel peaceful and content is a nod towards our own identity, authenticity and unique pleasures. This requires time for ourselves. ⏳

Enjoying time for yourself is possibly one of the most restorative activities you can undergo. Be it that you listen to your playlist, go for football with your mates, have a nice long bath, meditate, write a diary, video game - whatever the pace of the activity you associate taking time for yourself, it is always a good idea to let it have a recurrent slot in your time.

It’s good to have recurrent structured time 📅 for planned activities, and we will talk about some of this in the Routines and Rituals mission. However, it is also important to have some time set out for ourselves which is FREE. In which we can decide, on the spur of the moment, or looking at some of the things we wanted to get engaged with - what to do.

This time should come with no constraints, and no activity should be beneath it. If you like it, it is yours to do. No, it doesn’t have to be educational, or good for your health. But if it is, or it has a higher purpose, don’t feel it’s not good enough — as it doesn’t mean it should be pointless or frivolous either. What it “should” be is pleasurable 🥰, an authentic expression of something you would like to do. And you should be able to use it for whatever you please at the moment. It shouldn’t feel cramped by previous plans or expectations that you will finish or achieve something.

You may have vague marks on it (for example to read a book you started and that you want to finish), but if you don’t feel like it at the moment, let yourself do what you feel.

I know many people that procrastinate exactly because they don’t have this type of free time. Their schedules are full to the brim, and they feel the need to mischievously escape them. Thus, instead of embracing true free time for themselves, they end up trying to steal bits of time here and there, end up having their scheduled activities take much longer or be much less productive than they could, and then end up in even more time poverty. Embracing time for yourself may take guts, but knowing you have it, that it is happening at some point in your week, definitely makes you less resentful towards some of the things that you need to do.

What you do in your free time for yourself is your call. It doesn’t need to be something you negotiate with someone else - it is not “us” time (though of course, you can use one or two of your slots for that if you feel like it, even if you end up negotiating what movie to watch or game to play).  But mostly, at its core, it needs to be your time. If you find other people constantly intruding upon your time, it means that either there is no “us” time, or you need to renegotiate boundaries.

Let yourself have your free time, no matter what other people think of it - they might think it pointless, childish, extravagant, or simply not understand how come you enjoy it. If they love you, they will understand. You are not selfish for letting yourself have it, you are a normal human being that recharges 🔋 spending time doing what they like.